


The Only Color Is You

by CrazyT



Category: Critical Role (Web Series)
Genre: F/M, Mutual Pining, Symbolism, Widojest Week
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-08
Updated: 2020-07-08
Packaged: 2021-03-05 05:55:03
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,985
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25139578
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CrazyT/pseuds/CrazyT
Summary: How to see the world through color: a guide by a courtesan's daughter and a cloth dyer's son.
Relationships: Jester Lavorre/Caleb Widogast
Comments: 16
Kudos: 45
Collections: Widojest Week 2020





	1. Please be complementary, my dear!

**Author's Note:**

> This is an attempt at the prompt for the second day of Widojest Week: "Dressed Up"  
> I say attempt, cause this derailed into a combination of character and symbolism analysis. Also, it grew...a lot. The Widojest is still there though and there is mention of being dressed up, so yay for an attempt! 
> 
> Hope you guys enjoy!

Jester has always loved colors. Painting, of course. But colors came first. Or well, painting was always there, but it wasn’t really something she had to learn.

Colors on the other hand…the first time she remembered learning about colors she was still Guinevere and she hadn’t even met the Traveller yet. Sitting on her Mama’s bed, watching her get ready for the evening, asking why Mama had to wear the light blue dress when the pink gown was prettier, and her Mama sitting down next to her and explaining that there were meanings behind colors. “The right color for the right time.”

Later, her Mama sat with her, and told her stories and symbolism behind the different colors as she drew. It was fascinating. She learned about color wheels, cultural differences, complementary colors, analogous colors, had at least one shelf full of books about color, and most importantly, it was how she got her name.

Mama had explained virtue names of course, but she hadn't decided on one yet. Then on one of their afternoons, when Mama had taken out some of her most colorful scarves to demonstrate complementary colors, Guinevere had grabbed some of the scarves and danced about waving in them in the air. She doesn’t know why she did (“Are blue and red complementary or analogous?” she asks. “Neither,” her mama sighs). Mama had laughed and called Guinevere her little jester. She’d decided then that she always wanted to be Mama’s little Jester.

Of course, the colors went by the wayside with the advent of the Traveller and the discovery of pranks. Drawing continued, but the colors and their meanings blended into the background.

They were always there though.

“You will grow in powers,” says the Traveller. “Of course, I will,” she thinks. “Oh, green’s the perfect color for you,” she trills as ideas of safety and ambition dance in her head.

Fjord has green skin. “Analogous,” she thinks. “You’re so handsome, Fjord,” she says. “New beginnings,” she mutters under her breath.

Beau has dark skin and dark hair with blue clothes and jade earrings. “Confidence and harmony,” she thinks. “Hi, I’m Jester,” she says.

Nott has green skin too and a loud voice. “Envy,” she starts to think, but that’s not very nice, so she thinks “hope” instead. “Are you guys staying here?” she asks.

Caleb is brown (and blue eyes). Brown coat, dirty face, dirty-brown red hair. “He stinks,” she thinks. “You should take a bath,” she says. (Brown, says her mind, what’s brown again?)

Molly and Yasha are full of creativity and possibility. (Lavender and white.)

(Beginnings, everywhere she looks.)

Caleb is very dirty until he’s not and then they fight about money, and he’s dirty again.

And brown.

Then he gives her a bunch of money because he knows she was upset about the money (it was more than the money, and she thinks he might know that too). And she remembers.

“Brown is reliable, protective, and dependable,” she thinks. Dull and timid, too. But Caleb’s not dull or timid, not really. Reliable, protective and dependable. “Yes,” she agrees (just with herself, but that counts too), “brown is a good color for Caleb.” She still teases him about being dirty, because he’ll look at her with humor in his bright blue eyes. And those are a good color for him too.

And they dance, which is really nice. (He calls her Astrid and she wonders what colors Astrid has.)

And she gets kidnapped, which isn’t nice. (The Traveller doesn’t answer. Green for indifference, she ~~doesn’t~~ think.)

Cadeuceus is light pink and light green. She’s half-wondering where Molly is, so it takes her a little bit to think, “sympathy and protection.” “I like your hair,” she says.

(Lavender can be for mourning, her Mama said. She doesn’t like to think of that.)

They go to the Menagerie Coast, and she gets to see her Mama again. She’s wearing dark purple for mystery. (Widows wear dark purple, says one of the color books on her shelf.)

They become pirates, get exiled, go to Felderwin, learn that Nott is Veth, and that Caleb was Bren.

Caleb sits in the back of the cart with sad eyes (blue, sincerity) and his red hair (not analogous or complementary, courage) shining in the sun, with Frumpkin leaning against him (orange, complementary with blue, warmth) and she wants him to smile (wants to see his eyes).

“Are you secretly in love with me?” she asks. Jester’s good at not saying what she’s thinking. (This isn’t true with Caleb; this hasn’t been true with Caleb since the beginning.)

They go to Xhorhas to find Yeza for Nott (for Veth).

They become Heroes of the Dynasty and they get new clothes.

She gets a green cloak like the Traveller. (Green for healing and safety.)

Nott (Veth, is it Veth?) gets a yellow dress. (Yellow for happiness.)

And Caleb gets a new coat. (Purple for mystery, for creativity, for magic, ~~for romance~~.) Purple is a color of the Dynasty. (Of Essek, who is magical and mysterious. What color was Astrid?)

He is clean and very handsome now, and he has a spell just for her, just for TravellerCon. Orange (amber) hamsters and lollipops. (Orange (like Frumpkin, ~~like Caleb~~ ); complementary color to blue, enthusiasm, endurance, joy. Amber; similar to orange in meanings, safety, warmth.)

They lose Yasha (she draws lavender flowers in Yasha’s room), Fjord loses his accent and gains a sword (green for nature and growth, she thinks), they get stuck in the Fun Ball (“I don’t want you suffering in a little ruby prison”), and they get Yasha back (grey for maturity and stability). They meet Ikithon (nope, he doesn’t get a color, he’s just icky) and discuss peace talks. They go back home (home is Mama, but home is also the Xhorhaus and the Mighty Nein), Essek hangs out with them (he’s their friend now, she’s sure), they try (Caleb tries) to turn Nott back into Veth but they are stopped, and they go to remove a curse.

Fjord enters (green for victory) and exits, Nott enters (yellow for peace) and exits, Beau enters (blue for protection from witches) and exits, Yasha enters (white for truce) and exits. The witch wants misery and Jester doesn’t want anyone else to go in (especially not Caleb; red for battle). She has a blueberry muffin in a pink haversack (pink for unconditional love) and she is blue (blue for the unexpected).

It works out, she knew it would. (She didn't, but she had to try.)

Then it’s the peace talks and they find out that Essek is the traitor (but is he still a friend?).

And there’s going to be a party (which is Essek is going to be at), she invites her mom (it’s away from the Chateau…will she come?), Caleb needs a spell so they go to Yussa’s (and he has to stay at Yussa’s so she offers to go to the fish market with Fjord. Not because she’s trying to make Caleb jealous. Why would she do that?), and “We need dresses!”

She offers to get Caleb’s attire for him, because he’s busy and he gives her five platinum (fifty gold, he gave her fifty gold before when they fought about money).

It’s only when she’s actually considering what to get Caleb so he can be all dressed up, that she starts considering colors again. They are going to a party for the peace talks (with people from the Cerberus Assembly, possibly people from Caleb’s past), and he needs something appropriate.

Black for the main color, she decides. Black for mystery. (Black for protection.) (And fitted too, because Caleb has a nice figure.)

Silver embroidery. Silver for elegance and dignity. (Silver for calm and eloquence. Caleb’s already silver-tongued, but there’s nothing wrong with a little support.)

Red and gold damask lining. Red for caution and gold for knowledge. (Red for energy and passion, ~~for love,~~ and gold for confidence. She puts those colors in the inside so Caleb can gather confidence, but the glimpses of red will warn away any who plan him harm.)

She decides to wear pink as it’s her favorite color (pink for romance and analogous with red).

She loves colors and it’s so fun to dress up.

(There was a color wheel in one of her books that had pink as a complement to brown, but she’s not thinking about that.)


	2. Don't We Blend Nicely, Darling?

Bren learns about colors as he learns about all things, voraciously. The Ermendrud family are poor and wear the colors that are cheap. However, they have access to woad and madder roots. Una often helped supplement the family income by weaving and dyeing fabrics.

One day, Frumpkin upset both dye vats while everyone was out. (Leofric in the fields, and Una and Bren in the garden.)

They came back to a mess of purple-ish cloth and cat. His Mutter had laughed and said that perhaps they will get more money for such a color. He had wanted to know how the woad blend and the madder blend had caused that color (he had wanted to know everything, he still wants to know everything, will he never learn?). So, his Mutter had talked him through the dyeing processes and different mixtures of colors. 

It is interesting for a little bit, but then there are books and, later, magic. Color blends into the background.

He doesn’t much think about color as he continues to grow up, or at the Solstice Academy, or with Master Ikithon unless it pertains to magic or a lesson (he doesn’t much think, now does he?).

Then he’s so sure and there is fire burning up his house, dyeing vats and all. (Red and yellow make orange.)

And then, well, he doesn’t think.

When he remembers, he’s in a white room, and colors don’t matter much at all in the face of what he has done. (White is the absence of the color. The fabric before color is added. The blank page.)

And then he runs, and runs, and runs. He steals and begs. Gets enough to create a familiar. (Frumpkin, like the cat that knocked over the color vats.)

He runs and doesn’t think of color and runs and gets caught. He gets put into a jail cell and then a little green goblin gets put in too. (Blue and yellow make green.)

He uses her and she uses him, and that ist gut, they are both getting something from this. (It isn’t a blend, it’s just a give and take.)

He almost dies (again, but he can’t die yet, he has so much to make up for) and they meet some colorful individuals. (“you smell really bad” and dyeing smells, he thinks nonsensically, or does he mean dying? There’s something disarmingly charming about this tiefling even as she complains about his smell.)

She’s…blue, and she comes with a loud, blue-clothed, jade-wearing monk and a green loquacious half-orc. (Using woad to dye clothes blue is a long process and cornflowers are an easy alternative, but cornflowers have more use for medicinal purposes. If you want to dye cloth green without mixing colors, you can use lily of the valley or nettles. Lily of the valley is poisonous, but nettles can be irritating.)

They go to the carnival with all it’s colors and he doesn’t think about it (lavender blooms in the fields and white walls). They fight and he doesn’t die, and they decide to stick together (they all mutually decide to use each other, but of course no one says that, he thinks).

He continues not thinking about colors. (When you are dyeing fabric, the colors stick to your hands.)

(Are we using each other or blending together?)

This is not the thought in his head as he puts the alarm up every night, as Nott cuddles up to him, as Jester teases him and makes him blush, as he tells Nott and Beau his horrible, horrible secret just so he can read some books, as he loses himself to the flames and Molly helps (slaps) him, as Fjord holds a sword to his throat and then helps carry his unconscious self out, as Yasha shaves his beard.

But, always, he does not think of colors as Jester with her pink haversack smiles and laughs and teases and makes the world feel a little like color is okay. He is drunk and they dance, and he thinks of blue and red, and then he thinks of dancing in his red jacket with Astrid and her blue scarf, and then he messes it all up as he does. But it’s okay, and she puts him to bed, and she is blue, and that’s okay, that’s a color that’s okay.

He starts thinking about color more after that (he thinks about Jester more and more after that).

They lose lavender and gain hollyhock. (He thinks about running, but he doesn’t want to lose the colors. They almost lose Jester, and he never wants that to happen again.)

So much happens and continues to happen.

The sea, pirates, Nott who is Veth, he outs himself as Bren, they go to Xhorhas, they meet Essek and find Yeza, and, surprisingly, they survive. (They survive, but he worries about Jester. She smiles and smiles and smiles, but they don’t always reach her eyes.)

And more and more he become aware of the colors. (More and more he falls, uselessly in love.)

(But colors are rather useless in the grand scheme of things, aren’t they?)

He gets a new coat in Xhorhas (they are all getting new clothes, it’s not that he wants to be noticed) and asks for it to be dark purple. (“Blau und rot ergeben lila,” he doesn’t hear his Mutter say in his head. And, what if red and blue make purple? Purple is a good color. It is the color of the dynasty and he is trying to fit in. Liar, says his mind.)

So much more happens. They lose Yasha and they get Yasha back. (Fjord changes and becomes even more worthy of Jester…which is good, that is good. He makes a snow Jester anyway.) He goes back to Rexxentrum (and he sees Trent Ikithon and Jester calls him Mr. Icky-thong) and he sees Astrid. (If he had stayed, would he also be this blind?)

He makes a spell with Essek and Nott (with Veth? What will he do when he loses her? She, at least, he thought he might not lose. Jester was never his to keep.) that will turn Nott back into Veth, and finally decides to trust Essek. But the spell fails because they have to remove the curse first.

They find the witch and Fjord goes in, then Nott, then Beau, then Yasha, and then Jester before anyone can stop her. Fjord says the witch wants misery, Nott says she hasn’t made a bargain yet (she almost promises war, war when they almost have peace), Beau says nothing (Beau almost leaves, she can’t do that, they just got back Yasha and Veth might leave for her family, they can’t lose anyone else), Yasha says the misery has to be fresh (fresh misery, what can he give that can provide fresh misery?) and Jester, Jester comes out and says she made a bargain (What did she lose? What did she promise? What misery has been or is going to be caused?).

Jester does the impossible and tricks a witch, because of course she does. And then in the fading light she asks him if it’s okay that she used that spell (Okay? Everything is okay (is good) with Jester. Colors are okay to think about with Jester. Spells that have previously been used horribly are okay when it’s Jester. He just wishes she was okay with not always being okay. He wishes she could feel as seen and supported as she makes others feel.)

Yasha sees more than she should, and he worries over how obvious he is being. (He is a fool and it is too late. It was too late the moment she said “Hi, I’m Jester.”)

They go to the peace talks and Essek is the traitor. And he feels such a fool.

Nott becomes Veth and it is good. (It is, it is, change can be good. Look at Jester for the truth of that. No, don’t look at Jester, you fool!) He goes to Yussa to get more spells because he needs spells that Essek doesn’t know he has if he is going to try to keep them all safe. Jester comes with him, but when he stays, she decides to go to the fish market with Fjord. (He does not bless Cadeuceus in his mind, when he mentions that they need to be dressed up for the party. That is a lie, he does, but only because it is good someone remembered and they need to make a good impression at this party. That is why, and not because he is glad Jester got distracted.)

Jester offers to get him clothes for the party, and he tells her to choose and gives her five platinum (fifty gold, he remembers everything, of course he remembers a silly fight over fifty gold). He doesn’t know what to expect (the unexpected), but she could dress him up like a clown and he would not care. (She will not do that.)

He trusts her. (He is right to, of course.)

She is dressed in pink and she is lovely. (If you asked him to describe the dress with his keen mind, he would not be able to. He would be able to describe the smile on her face, the glimmer of her tattoos, and the brightness of her eyes.)

The pink of her dress makes the blue of her skin stand out.

(Colors are rather lovely, he’s discovered.)

**Author's Note:**

> This is a thank you to the Widojest Love server for all your awesomeness, and especially to lion for the German. I couldn't have done this without you!


End file.
